ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
