MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
