A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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