She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
vagina is talking i cant
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
