Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
