Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
