I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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