what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
