There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
