Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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