I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
