Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
