my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
