I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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