I don't think brook has ever known best
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
