Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
