hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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