I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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