I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
