Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
