I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
