Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
