So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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