he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
