I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
