I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
