So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
