Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
