i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
