they need to just BURY HIM!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she peed on how many people?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
