Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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