if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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