...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
