He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
