Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
