To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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