She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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