i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize