Fuck appropriateness.
is wine microwaveable?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
