no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
