i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
