I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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