was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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