you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
