My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
