Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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