I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
