It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
