I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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