I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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