Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
