Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
