why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
