Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
