i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
