Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize