I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
