I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
