wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
